Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Story Worth Sharing

Cerita sedih ni aku dapat dari email. Memang sedih bila aku baca. Kepada bakal2 suami/ayah dan isteri/emak, ingatlah pada orang tersayang. bawa keta elok2, jangan nak merempit sangat. :)

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how
does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be
feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care
of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I
feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of
my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had
to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was
still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my
sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am
home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So
with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room,
skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just
having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and
warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the
'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet*
** and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged
straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a
good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not
back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you
reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around,
hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to
cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was
afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to
keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing
with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't
want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried
with the shower head on to mask my cries.** **After that episode, I went
towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while
coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed.
When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and
saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but
from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus
on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his
needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from
kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression
on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time,
his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from
school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain.
But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name
and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer
games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did
not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I
realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite
is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he
has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has
recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to
himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure,
would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter,
and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every
passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got
into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the
post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an
edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several
letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son
again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is
really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry,
Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner,
went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came
home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was :** **The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask
him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was:
" I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out
for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the
letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and
I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you
have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My
son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was
sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I
brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they
turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a** **'Talent Show' in school, and the
school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did
not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid
that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around
looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the
computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and
he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real
reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you,
he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. ** **I think we both miss
you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am
starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I
can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the
photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your
dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the
irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some
kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem.
Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to
the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care
of your little precious.

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even
business nor clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally
dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society,
no one is indispensable.

Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious
and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first.

With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things
around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your
health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than
your well being. *

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